I'm coming late to commenting on this post because -- guess what?! -- I took a few days off and trusted that it was "okay not to write." Thank you, Michelle, for reminding us that our scholarly writing is nourished, not drained, by the attention we pay to the rest of our lives.
I love how this prompt helps you to look inside yourself and define what success looks and feels like in any given moment. And a lot of time, DOING LESS is the ultimate key to getting more purposeful work done.
Thank you so much for this, Michelle. You have really helped me with this post. Firstly, you made me realise that I'm just grateful when I get time to write. Any time. Litte crumbs of time. In fact, it should be the other way around. I need to reframe the other stuff as interruptions (OK or not OK) from my writing. 🤣
lol I love this! Also love "Little crumbs of time." It's like we're little mice, sneaking about the kitchen after dark and snatching up whatever we can find :)))
Ah same... I've been trying to figure out whether the mindset of "I am just grateful when I get time to write" is helpful or toxic (or when it's helpful and when it's toxic) because on the one hand, I found myself happy to simply be able to write (therefore less self-judgment and anxiety about writing). On the other, I get resentful when I *don't* get time to write... or it makes me feel guilty that I am not using all the "free" time to write... still haven't found a way to balance!
One way to think about it is that enthusiasm for your writing is always a good thing--there's a bunch of research that shows that when we're feeling positively about our work, we think more clearly and get more done. So being grateful for writing time is wonderful! I also think it can be helpful to feel resentful when other (less important) things keep you from writing, because it can clarify our priorities and help identify times when we're accidentally letting other things get in the way of those priorities. Resentment can also build what I think of as a "writer's oppositional consciousness," where we strengthen our sense that we're entitled to write, and that institutional obstacles to that writing are the problem (not us). Guilt--now that's another thing entirely. I often encourage my clients to be kindly attentive to guilt: it has something to tell us, but it's often not the thing we actually say to ourselves when we're feeling it. In other words, I think all those reactions can be incredibly useful Xin, as long as we are curious about them instead of condemning. What do you think?
This is SO helpful!!! I love the idea of a "writer's oppositional consciousness" but also feel it's hard to separate genuine enthusiasm for writing from institutional pressure to publish. Now that I think about it with your super helpful distinction between resentment and guilt, I feel the former is associated more with the sense of the deprivation of that entitlement due to other institutional roles, while guilt comes from a sense of lack as a neoliberal subject, i.e. "I don't have enough energy that I wish I have to complete a task much sooner or faster". They are still very much intertwined but great to know that they can be thought differently!
I know, I know, it's such a knot isn't it?? By the time we're doing the diss and certainly if we're past it, we're such perfect little neoliberal subjects :) It's like I don't even try to avoid that any more, I just aim to do what you just did--which is be able to SEE when I'm accidentally falling into that, so I can wriggle my way out. I'm so glad this conversation helped!
Your prompt reminded me of my interactions with my daughters and nieces, how do they always know exactly when to interject into productive writing time? 🤣 Much like your narrative, my babies are grown and alone time with them is precious. I'm exploring the concepts of how to best form a productive writing practice, and keep in mind from your writing retreat last month, that reading can also be part of the writing journey. These #AcWriMoments have been a wonderful way of discovering.
I agree, Edith -- what a treat these daily prompts have been! And they just keep getting better and better.... Margy and I are already starting to talk about how to keep up the #AcWriMomentum after this month ends....
This is excellent advice, and I just loved these lines: "When she flounces out the door an hour later, she’s got tiny pieces of my heart in one hand, and all my writing time in the other. And frankly, I was happy to give her both."
Love the wisdom in this prompt, Michelle. As someone who has to fit their personal writing around the needs of my children, it is all too easy to feel guilty for both writing and not writing, depending on the circumstances. Defining criteria is a really good way to set some boundaries while also building in flexibility to say “What the hell” when required.
As an extreme case of self-chastisement for not having a productive day, this piece from Tolstoy’s “Journal for Weaknesses” (great title!) takes some beating…
“March 24, 1851. Arose somewhat late and read, but did not have time to write. Poiret came, I fenced, and did not send him away (sloth and cowardice). Ivanov came, I spoke with him for too long (cowardice). Koloshin (Sergei) came to drink vodka, I did not escort him out (cowardice). At Ozerov’s argued about nothing (habit of arguing) and did not talk about what I should have talked about (cowardice). Did not go to Beklemishev’s (weakness of energy). During gymnastics did not walk the rope (cowardice), and did not do one thing because it hurt (sissiness). — At Gorchakov’s, lied (lying). Went to the Novotroitsk tavern (lack of fierté). At home did not study English (insufficient firmness). At the Volkonskys’ was unnatural and distracted, and stayed until one in the morning (distractedness, desire to show off, and weakness of character).”
Holy cow that is brutal! And its tone is also distressingly familiar :) It is such a great example of what we can easily fall into, and it's so much easier to see why we have to resist that tendency when we watch another person beat themselves up. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Anne, for this extraordinary quote! It makes an interesting counterpoint to Samuel Taylor Coleridge's account of being interrupted by a "person on business from Porlock" in the midst of writing "Kubla Khan": later, when he returned to his desk to finish writing down the poem, he found that, "with the exception of some eight or ten scattered lines and images, all the rest had passed away like the images on the surface of a stream into which a stone has been cast, but, alas! without the after restoration of the latter!" Tolstoy ascribes his lack of productivity on his own many weaknesses: cowardice, sissiness, "lack of fierté." Coleridge, by contrast, squarely blames the "person from Porlock" -- a brilliant strategy for outsourcing guilt!
Glad you liked it, Helen. I totally recognise that experience of being pulled away from writing / thinking and then losing whatever ideas and images had been in my head – so frustrating!! And, if I’m being totally honest, my “person from Porlock” is often an online rabbit hole…
What a perfect prompt for a Friday (and a long holiday weekend in the U.S.!) Thank you, Michelle - so wise and refreshing as always! 🙏
I'm coming late to commenting on this post because -- guess what?! -- I took a few days off and trusted that it was "okay not to write." Thank you, Michelle, for reminding us that our scholarly writing is nourished, not drained, by the attention we pay to the rest of our lives.
Love this!!!
I love how this prompt helps you to look inside yourself and define what success looks and feels like in any given moment. And a lot of time, DOING LESS is the ultimate key to getting more purposeful work done.
omgoodness Leslie, you are so right.
Thank you so much for this, Michelle. You have really helped me with this post. Firstly, you made me realise that I'm just grateful when I get time to write. Any time. Litte crumbs of time. In fact, it should be the other way around. I need to reframe the other stuff as interruptions (OK or not OK) from my writing. 🤣
lol I love this! Also love "Little crumbs of time." It's like we're little mice, sneaking about the kitchen after dark and snatching up whatever we can find :)))
Ah same... I've been trying to figure out whether the mindset of "I am just grateful when I get time to write" is helpful or toxic (or when it's helpful and when it's toxic) because on the one hand, I found myself happy to simply be able to write (therefore less self-judgment and anxiety about writing). On the other, I get resentful when I *don't* get time to write... or it makes me feel guilty that I am not using all the "free" time to write... still haven't found a way to balance!
One way to think about it is that enthusiasm for your writing is always a good thing--there's a bunch of research that shows that when we're feeling positively about our work, we think more clearly and get more done. So being grateful for writing time is wonderful! I also think it can be helpful to feel resentful when other (less important) things keep you from writing, because it can clarify our priorities and help identify times when we're accidentally letting other things get in the way of those priorities. Resentment can also build what I think of as a "writer's oppositional consciousness," where we strengthen our sense that we're entitled to write, and that institutional obstacles to that writing are the problem (not us). Guilt--now that's another thing entirely. I often encourage my clients to be kindly attentive to guilt: it has something to tell us, but it's often not the thing we actually say to ourselves when we're feeling it. In other words, I think all those reactions can be incredibly useful Xin, as long as we are curious about them instead of condemning. What do you think?
This is SO helpful!!! I love the idea of a "writer's oppositional consciousness" but also feel it's hard to separate genuine enthusiasm for writing from institutional pressure to publish. Now that I think about it with your super helpful distinction between resentment and guilt, I feel the former is associated more with the sense of the deprivation of that entitlement due to other institutional roles, while guilt comes from a sense of lack as a neoliberal subject, i.e. "I don't have enough energy that I wish I have to complete a task much sooner or faster". They are still very much intertwined but great to know that they can be thought differently!
I know, I know, it's such a knot isn't it?? By the time we're doing the diss and certainly if we're past it, we're such perfect little neoliberal subjects :) It's like I don't even try to avoid that any more, I just aim to do what you just did--which is be able to SEE when I'm accidentally falling into that, so I can wriggle my way out. I'm so glad this conversation helped!
Xin, if you haven’t checked out Michelle‘s book, yet, you might really love it! It goes into lots more depth about all these ideas, including oppositional consciousness https://us.sagepub.com/en-us/nam/becoming-the-writer-you-already-are/book244312
Aw Margy, you're the best :)
(Coming back because I just remembered from the convo below that there’s a 30% discount code for Michelle’s book! ;) ) https://www.inkwellretreats.org/becoming.html
Wow, Michelle! I really appreciate this breakdown. 💝 I just added your book to my shopping list!
Oh I'm so glad Edith! You can grab the first chapter and get a 30% discount code here if you like: https://www.inkwellretreats.org/becoming.html :)
Wonderful! Thank you :)
I'm right there with you, Xin! I absolutely love how you broke this down!
Your prompt reminded me of my interactions with my daughters and nieces, how do they always know exactly when to interject into productive writing time? 🤣 Much like your narrative, my babies are grown and alone time with them is precious. I'm exploring the concepts of how to best form a productive writing practice, and keep in mind from your writing retreat last month, that reading can also be part of the writing journey. These #AcWriMoments have been a wonderful way of discovering.
I agree, Edith -- what a treat these daily prompts have been! And they just keep getting better and better.... Margy and I are already starting to talk about how to keep up the #AcWriMomentum after this month ends....
Oh yay! 💝🎁
lol, yes they have some very finely calibrated sort of interruption radar, don't they? :)))) So glad to see you both at the retreat and here Edith!
This is excellent advice, and I just loved these lines: "When she flounces out the door an hour later, she’s got tiny pieces of my heart in one hand, and all my writing time in the other. And frankly, I was happy to give her both."
I'm with Martha on this one, Michelle -- that's a gorgeous sentence! So gorgeous, in fact, that I'm going to go and restack it right now...
You are too kind!
Thanks Martha! I'm so glad you found it useful (and don't tell anyone, but I love that line too. I definitely love being an auntie).
Love the wisdom in this prompt, Michelle. As someone who has to fit their personal writing around the needs of my children, it is all too easy to feel guilty for both writing and not writing, depending on the circumstances. Defining criteria is a really good way to set some boundaries while also building in flexibility to say “What the hell” when required.
As an extreme case of self-chastisement for not having a productive day, this piece from Tolstoy’s “Journal for Weaknesses” (great title!) takes some beating…
“March 24, 1851. Arose somewhat late and read, but did not have time to write. Poiret came, I fenced, and did not send him away (sloth and cowardice). Ivanov came, I spoke with him for too long (cowardice). Koloshin (Sergei) came to drink vodka, I did not escort him out (cowardice). At Ozerov’s argued about nothing (habit of arguing) and did not talk about what I should have talked about (cowardice). Did not go to Beklemishev’s (weakness of energy). During gymnastics did not walk the rope (cowardice), and did not do one thing because it hurt (sissiness). — At Gorchakov’s, lied (lying). Went to the Novotroitsk tavern (lack of fierté). At home did not study English (insufficient firmness). At the Volkonskys’ was unnatural and distracted, and stayed until one in the morning (distractedness, desire to show off, and weakness of character).”
Holy cow that is brutal! And its tone is also distressingly familiar :) It is such a great example of what we can easily fall into, and it's so much easier to see why we have to resist that tendency when we watch another person beat themselves up. Thanks for sharing!
Yes, it is severe! I re-read it from time to time to remind me to go easier on myself...
Wow, Anne! Thank you for sharing this!
Glad you liked it, Sophie - he really was hard on himself!
He certainly was!
Thank you, Anne, for this extraordinary quote! It makes an interesting counterpoint to Samuel Taylor Coleridge's account of being interrupted by a "person on business from Porlock" in the midst of writing "Kubla Khan": later, when he returned to his desk to finish writing down the poem, he found that, "with the exception of some eight or ten scattered lines and images, all the rest had passed away like the images on the surface of a stream into which a stone has been cast, but, alas! without the after restoration of the latter!" Tolstoy ascribes his lack of productivity on his own many weaknesses: cowardice, sissiness, "lack of fierté." Coleridge, by contrast, squarely blames the "person from Porlock" -- a brilliant strategy for outsourcing guilt!
Glad you liked it, Helen. I totally recognise that experience of being pulled away from writing / thinking and then losing whatever ideas and images had been in my head – so frustrating!! And, if I’m being totally honest, my “person from Porlock” is often an online rabbit hole…
Yikes! This is definitely a brutal way to live 😳 Thank you so much for sharing 💝
Pretty sure I've been overly trusting these feelings. LOL.
:))) I feel you Rebecca. But even THAT is great information. Now you can question them, juuuuuust a little, and know that that's OK too.